You can control bullies

This weekend I had to deal with a herd of bullies, actually they were steers with horns.  They snorted at me, charged me, ran around me, and yelled.  What I found out was that if I stood my ground and didn't let them bother me they went away.  I also discovered that I could make them leave if I wanted them too.  In fact if I gave the right signals I could have them running circles and changing directions!

I also discovered it was so much easier when a friend helped me deal with them. 
So I know that you too can deal with the bullies in your life.  Remember to ask for help if you need it.
"Courage is fire, bullying is smoke"

Humans could learn a lot from the herd...

Humans could learn a lot from horses about how

to deal with bullies, here are some examples:

• A horse decides to bully another smaller horse, a larger horse steps up to protect the small horse and tells the bully horse to leave.
• A horse decides it doesn't want to talk to another horses there is always another horse in the herd who will talk to them.
• All the horses listen to the horse in charge, if they don't they have to go stand in time out until they can be better listeners.
• Horses always watch out for each other.  If a horse lays down to take a nap another horse stands guard over it.
• Horses forgive those that hurt their feelings.
• Horses don't listen to what other horses think about what they are wearing.
• Horses love unconditionally
• Once a horse is your friend, it will always be your friend.
• Horses don't stay angry very long.
• Best of all horses don't care how old you are, how fat or thin you are, what color you are, how much money you have, or how fancy your car is.  We only care about if you are honest with us and treat us with kindness.

Wow, learning some of those lessons would make it a lot better for humans.
"Courage is fire, bullying is smoke"

Kindness makes a difference to the reciever and the giver

How different would the world be if we all decided to extend one kind act to one person everyday?
"Courage is fire, bullying is smoke"

Three main triggers for bullies.

As long as any of these exist there will always be bullying.  Take a stand when you see these and speak up to stop them!
"Courage is fire, bullying is smoke"

What it looks like to persevere

Emmanuel Kelly | Imagine | X-Factor 2011 from quantumtraveler on Vimeo.
To be so uplifting after all he has been through.  He shows that humans can overcome anything.
"Courage is fire, bullying is smoke"

Which wolf do you feed?

"Courage is fire, bullying is smoke"

Fitting in or standing out, that is the question

My momma gave me some good advice, "Stop trying to fit in when you were born to stand out."
My spotted rear got me teased when I was little.  I would hear chants of, "Spotty butt, spotty butt, we can't see around the giant spotty butt!" I would get upset and wish I was like everyone else.  I would roll in mud trying to cover up my spots, it didn't work-I would just get teased for being dirty and spotty.  I decided that all I could do was be the best spotted horse that I could be and that was what I set out to do!
This summer I got to meet a movie star and spend several days with him.  When I went to leave he came over and told me what a great horse I am.  Wow, me the horse who got teased was liked by someone famous.  Momma says it is because I decided to stand out and be my best-not blend in like a sheep.
"Courage is fire, bullying is smoke"

See beyond the outside

Maybe they shouldn't judge each other by their feathers.  If they took the time to get to know the bird behind the feathers they just might find out they could be good friends.  After all I am a horse of a different color and I have lots of friends.
"Courage is fire, bullying is smoke"

Names hurt and words cause pain

The man in the photo is Buck Brannaman, he is famous.  He also knows about growing up being bullied because it happened to him.  It was so bad that he and his brother were put in a foster home.
I got to spend time with him this summer, he was my teacher.  While he is tough and will tell it like it is, he is also kind, consistent, and fair.  In my class the was one horse being ridden by a guy who was a bully.  He yanked and kicked his horse too much.  He called his horse "stupid, lazy, good for nothing, dumb" and many other things.  I got upset just going by him because he was so rude.  My rider told him he should treat his horse nicer, he just glared at her and continued to bully his horse.  I had enough! I walked over to where Buck was and made my rider tell him about the mean man.  Buck proceeded to intervene on the horse's behalf.  He told the rider that his horse was just behaving the way he told it that it was.  If he wanted better from his horse, he had to be a better human first.  He also told him that if he didn't behave better he would get a big time out!  It worked, the man quit bullying his horse and was much nicer.
Sometimes you have to help another being get help.  You have to speak up for them, tell someone who can help them if that doesn't work.  DON'T BE SILENT WHEN YOU SEE BULLYING BECAUSE IN A WAY THAT MAKES YOU A BULLY TOO!
"Courage is fire, bullying is smoke"

Who are you?

I have to be myself, that is all I can be.  After all a spotted pony will always have spots no matter how many times I may be told to change.
"Courage is fire, bullying is smoke"

Be who you are!

Like this penguin, I get laughed at because I am different.  That is okay, I just laugh right back because they are all the same.
Courage is fire, bullying is smoke"

Gossips are small people

"Courage is fire, bullying is smoke"

Bullies are very cunning and are expert at getting away with it.

We all know that bullying goes on in every school but it's the way it's dealt with which makes the difference between life being tolerable or a misery.

How to solve the problem

If you are being bullied, tell a friend, tell a teacher and tell your parents. It won't stop unless you do. It can be hard to do this so if you don't feel you can do it in person it might be easier to write a note to your parents explaining how you feel, or perhaps confide in someone outside the immediate family, like a grandparent, aunt, uncle or cousin and ask them to help you tell your parents what's going on. 

Your teacher needs to know what is going on so try to find a time to tell him/her when it won't be noticeable. You could stay behind on the pretext of needing help with some work. If you don't feel you can do that, then go to the medical room and speak to the school nurse. 

The best idea is if a teacher can catch the bullies red-handed. That way, you won't get into bother from anyone for telling tales. It will be clear to everyone what has been going on. Don't be tempted to hit back because you could get hurt or get into trouble.

Bullying includes:

• People calling you names
• Making things up to get you into trouble
• Hitting, pinching, biting, pushing and shoving
• Taking things away from you
• Damaging your belongings
• Stealing your money
• Taking your friends away from you
• Posting insulting messages on the internet or by IM (cyberbullying)
• Spreading rumours
• Threats and intimidation
• Making silent or abusive phone calls
• Sending you offensive phone texts
• Bullies can also frighten you so that you don't want to go to school, so that you pretend to be ill to avoid them

Hitting someone is an assault.

Try to stay in safe areas of the school at break and lunchtime where there are plenty of other people. Bullies don't like witnesses. If you are hurt at school, tell a teacher immediately and ask for it to be written down. Make sure you tell your parents.

Bullying is upsetting

Bullying is very upsetting and if you feel you can't cope, tell your parents and go to see your doctor. Many doctors are very sympathetic about the effects of bullying and yours may be able to write a note for the school explaining the effect that bullying is having on your health.

You could think about judo or martial arts classes so that you are confident you can look after yourself if necessary.

If people are making nasty remarks about you then it may be because they are jealous. Perhaps you're better looking than they are or work harder or perhaps the teachers like you better. One way of dealing with remarks is simply to say ...yeah, whatever, .... each time so that you show them that it isn't having the effect of upsetting you in the way they think.

The bullies will have worked out what buttons to push to make you upset.

They may make remarks about:

• Your weight
• Your looks
• The colour of your hair
• Your family
• Your schoolwork
• If you are popular
• If you work hard
• If you have a disability
• If you are a different religion, colour or culture
• If you wear spectacles or a hearing aid
• If you have dyslexia or dyspraxia
• If you've been off school due to illness

I often hear from students who have stopped eating because they've been called fat, or stupid because they have dyslexia. One girl tried to burn her freckles off because of cruel remarks.
The thing all these students had in common is that they were perfectly ordinary, nice people who had the misfortune to come up against a very nasty person.
"Courage is fire, bullying is smoke"

Words of advice

If you are being bullied...
Reach Out

Tell an adult. Sometimes you may have to tell more than one trusted adult.
Ask your friends to help you. There is safety in numbers.
Practice what to say the next time you're bullied with your parents, teachers or friends.

Be Cool in the Moment

Stay calm and confident. Don't show the bully that you're sad or mad.
Ignore the bully and walk away.
Remember: Fighting back can make bullying worse.

Change the School Community

Work with others to stop bully behavior; your whole school will benefit.
Remember: A lot of kids have to cope with bullying. You are not alone. No one deserves to be bullied.

If you witness bullying...
Interrupt It

Stand next to, or speak up for, the person being bullied.
Ask the bully to stop.
Comfort the person being bullied and offer friendship.

Get Help

Walk away and get help.
Find an adult who can intervene.

If you are the bully...
Make a Commitment to Change

Talk to an adult, like a teacher or parent, about how to get along with others.
Ask a friend to help you stop your bully behavior.
Apologize to the kids you have bullied.

Focus on Empathy and Responsibility

Think about what it feels like to be bullied -- would you want to be treated that way?
Before you speak, think about whether your words will help or hurt another student.

Change Your Behavior

Resist peer pressure to bully.
If you start to bully, walk away and find something else to do.
Remember: You don't have to like everyone around you, but you have to treat everyone with respect.
"Courage is fire, bullying is smoke"

Drama is for your llama...or herd dynamics

These are llamas and they love drama.  You get near them and they spit, hiss, and give you the stink eye.  They are four-legged bullies pure and simple.  What I have discovered with them is if you hold your ground they will usually back down because deep inside they are cowards.  Of course you might get llama spit on you once or twice-but eventually they will leave you alone.

The other time there seems to be drama is when you get a herd together.  Whether the herd is made up of horses, cows, humans, or any other creature.  Someone always feels the need to boss others around.  They want power and for others to be afraid of them.  This is not being a leader, this is just being a bully.  A real leader looks out for the best interests of the herd they are with.  They are benevolent (caring) not malevolent (mean).  If the herd the herd just stands by and watches the bully pick on someone nothing will change.  If the herd speaks up or even just surrounds the creature the bully is picking on the bully will stop. 

You see, bullies just like llamas are all huff and puff because they are basically cowards.

"Courage if fire, bullies are smoke"





My hat got me teased!

Have you ever had your parents, aunt, or grandma buy you something to wear that you just knew would get you laughed at?  You either feel you should were it so you don't hurt their feelings or your mom makes you wear it because "After all they spent good money on it and you should show a little appreciation".
That happened to me recently.  My human thought I might like the hat in the picture.  I think you can tell by my face that I did not like it at all.  However I love my human and did not want to hurt her feelings so I wore it.  The other horses teased me about it.  At first I was embarassed and upset.  Then I told the other horses that this was a special "You are loved the best hat."  They all wanted my hat because it ment that the human loved me the best.  Soon they were chasing me trying to take my hat....it was lots of fun.

I gave the hat to Sir Darby because it looks much better on him than it did on me.
Sometimes if you take the thing you are being teased about and turn it in to something special every one will want it.
"Courage is fire, bullying is smoke"

Take a stand

Something so simple can make such a big difference.
"Courage is fire, bullying is smoke"

The Price of Silence

Anti-bullying PSA. Over 6M American schoolchildren have been bullied in the past six months. Whether you cheer on the bully, or silently watch, you are supporting the bully. The effects upon the victim can be devastating, and the effects can last a lifetime. o something besides watching. Try to diffuse the situation. Tell a teacher, or a principal. If you can, stand up to the bully and let them know that it's not okay. Support the victim. Let them know you care and you don't think what happened to them was fair or right.

"Courage is fire, bullying is smoke"

What is a bully?

When one of the horses in the pasture keeps making fun of my spotted rump and I have asked them not to do it-that is bullying.
When Quincy, my pasture mate, keeps stealing my treats before I can get any-that is bullying.
When the fancy show horse in the pasture won't let any of the horses talk to me-that is bullying.
Teasing Delani because he is shorter than the rest of us-that is bullying.
Making fun of how Salty walk with his bum knee-that is bullying.
If I started biting all the horses who are doing the things above that would make me a bully too! 
"Courage is fire, bullying is smoke"

Let's get started

This is a lovely quote from the Dali Lama.  I find it so true that humans forget there is always time to be kind.  In fact it takes more time to be a bully that it takes to be a nice guy.
Life is short so why would you want to waste time?
"Courage is fire, bullying is smoke"